Friends

I have the most amazing friends. In the past few weeks they've:

- Sent me random funny messages because they know I needed a laugh

- Listened to me rant, then defended me fiercely again any enemy (real or imaginary)

- Patiently sat with me without needing to know the details of why I was sad

- Felt offended when I didn't confide enough 

- Made sure to keep in contact, despite the miles and time difference

- Let me have a random hug and cry, whenever I needed it

- Watched anime or went on adventures or found yummy foods or left me alone, just being there

- Complimented me on make-up (it's exciting, ok :P)

You know who you are. Thank you.

FYI

Christmas shirt - Check
Matching socks - Check
Christmas earrings in - Check
Presents wrapped - Umm, almost!
Cheese bought - Check

It's the Christmas season guys. Just in case you had missed it.

Frost

My faith has been struggling lately. There are a lot of facets to life that just don't fit smoothly into Christianity. That's the way it should be and it's just a part of life, but it doesn't always make it easy to understand. I'd verbalize my questions to you except that I'm not really sure what they are yet. There are days when I feel like pursuing God is hopeless and all of the answers that any of my wise mentors can give me simply feel flat.

Then, there was this morning. A delicate frost covers everything, even the spiderwebs, and I can feel the magic. I can envision an all-powerful painter taking joy in his work as he carefully blows frost onto every surface, smiling as his children wonder at this masterpiece.

I know that there is a secular, scientific explanation for this, but on days like today, a tiny hope blossoms that this secular knowledge can co-exist with God.

Ruckus

Meet Ruckus, my new squishable narwhal! He is a wonderful pillow and snuggle buddy :3

Savouring Christmas

It's starting! It's finally here!

I love Christmas. I love giving gifts, I love the laughter, I love the emotions, I love the celebrations, I love seeing my extended family, I love the joy.

I think most of all I love the fact that people are willing to be vulnerable at Christmas. Those who find it difficult to express affection suddenly find a new avenue through presents. Yes, Christmas is about more than things, but sometimes those gifts symbolize a type of love that you don't get to see other times of year.

For some people, Christmas is hectic, stressed, or sad. But I'm excited to celebrate with my friends and family, hopefully infecting them with a bit of my joy and love for them.

Looking Forward

I'm not particularly excited to graduate. My friends are wonderful and learning has (almost always) been a joy. School is a safety net where I find purpose and belonging wrapped up in a neat package. Except, it's time to leave and enter the real world.

To drum up some excitement about this transition, I have a list of things I'm looking forward to about graduation:

1. I COULD GET A CAT ONE DAY SOON
2. Setting up a kitchen of my own
3. Exploring new places
4. Meeting new people and hearing more stories
5. Settling in a church
6. Having time to learn what I want to learn
7. Living with my family again (I know, I know, I'm the worst young adult ever)
8. Not having to constantly discuss things I just don't care about
9. And being able to have the discussions I am interested in
10. Not needing to move once every eight months or less
11. Cooking with my mom
12. Becoming a real adult
13. Starting a life that is all my own
14. Having my very own potted plants ^.^
15. Maybe doing some bird-watching again

"Favourite"

I spell a few things "wrong," most prominently the word "favourite." Some people probably think it's because I'm showing, others that I'm trying to be cool in some way. But the reality is that I left a part of my heart in England. I miss the cobble stones, the sense of age, the tea, the accents, the grocery stores, the chocolate, the churches, the international feeling, the libraries, the academic rigor, my roommate, my walking buddy. I just want to go back and spend a few days there with everyone. But I can't. And I also know that there are people here who missed me and that constantly talking about how much I loved England is inappropriate.

So, instead, I add a "u" to certain words. It's a way of honouring my experiences without living in the past. It's a little thing, but every time I tell someone about my favourite colour, it makes me smile.

A Beautiful Mind

Yesterday I saw A Beautiful Mind for the first time. It's the first movie in my life that has made me cry. It wasn't John's goodbye to his invisible friends (my favourite characters) or when his wife chooses to stay with him or when he gets the Nobel Prize. Those are all lovely moments, but the part that made me want to bawl was when John gets those pens from his peers. The recognition of his ability to function through incredible odds and his determination is just so rare and wonderful.

It made me think of all the parents, sisters, brothers, wives, and children who suffer from similar diseases, but without the acknowledgement of their work. Even if it's "just" depression, ADD, anxiety, or one of the higher functioning mental illnesses, how often does anyone praise the hard work it takes to get out of bed? How many people struggle through this alone? How many have we forgotten and neglected because they don't met society's standards for successful?

I don't know what it's like to live with autism or schizophrenia or chronic depression, but from the stories I've been told, it can feel as if you are walking through hell. Please take the time to recognize that. Don't just tolerate those who are struggling - honor them. Because overcoming those odds, no matter how small the battle, deserves our praise.