Graduating

I'm graduating in six and a half months.

That's half a year folks. Until I will be out of school, possibly for good.

Some people cheer about this, but I personally like school. I'm pretty good at it, not the absolute best, but good enough to get noticed. It's pretty fun and, frankly, I'm not gonna fail at it. Perhaps not do as well as I would like, but if I work hard my grades will come out ok. Leaving academics is a sad thought for me, and while I could go to grad school and get my masters and so on, I'm not sure I actually care enough to do so. There is no one topic that fascinates me to the point where I would give up years of my life to pursue it, so no grad school for me! (Yet anyway. No promises. Wouldn't be surprised if I went back to school for fun if I had the money).

All this to say that I am graduating and I have no plan. None at all. And I'm scared stiff. I've always had a plan: middle school to high school to college to job. Now that I'm at the job part, everything seems a but more challenging. I don't know what to do with my degree and I don't know what I want to do with my life. There are so many choices, and yet I don't really want to do any of them. Part of that is just whining, who really wants to be working anyway, but part of that is legitimate confusion. So many people seem to have plans and I'm that little kid with the useless degree. In fact, that degree that my parents and grandparents paid for - what if I don't use it? What if I let them down? Normally I would wrap this up with a hopeful note about God and prayer and Happy Things, but I don't have any at this moment. I just got home, why am I going to be leaving it again in only six months? It'll all be ok, somehow, but the transition isn't going to be easy in any case.