Average

I've never viewed myself as particularly average. In school, I've always been one of the smart kids. In social situations, I've been the really shy ones. In places I'm comfortable, I'm an odd duck. Other people have noted that I'm very nice and kind. For good or bad, I've always had some defining characteristic that no one really shares with me.

For fun, I just took a fairly long online personality test. The format was a bit different than what I've encountered, so I was able to answer more truthfully than normal. Pretty much, it told me I was just like anyone else my age. Is the test right? Who knows, who cares. What got me thinking was how disappointed I was in being average.

Now that I'm graduated, I'm not special. I'm not different. I'm just one in a billion people wandering around doing stuff. The fact is that I can be ok with that. If I want, I could strive to do something that would hold me out of the average camp or I could do something more "normal," but just as meaningful. It doesn't matter.

I have the choice to base my worth on my own judgments. Meaning is what I make of it. I can choose to believe I am worthwhile because God loves me. Or because my parents love me. Or because I love stacking birdseed. Average is not an expression of worth, but simply an interesting factoid. Think about it this way, would you rather be known as unique or kind? Is it important to be known at all? Probably depends on the person.

Anyway, growing up is hard, just fyi.